Equilibirum

I am not in the best of moods today. So much so, that I got into that 'shut off' mode where I shut myself off, direct my anger at someone and ignore him/her completely. It was the result of something that happened yesterday. Here are thoughts around the incident -
Bad side - BS - of me (often the one that rules) and good side (GS) have this one of many dialogues:
BS - Why are you being sidelined? treated differently?GS - To me, it seems perception... maybe you are using tinted glasses?BS - tinted glasses? nitpicking, letting you always have the worse of the 2 things bought, not once appreciating what you do or give, never once asking 'how are things with you' or 'are you okay' or saying words like 'be careful', 'eat on time' - this and that while generously doling it out to the other party - is that all my assumption? how about the time when you came back tired after 24 hours of air travel and were asked to make chapatis, while the other person who just returned from a 'shopping' trip was asked if she was tired and asked to rest? or when always what the other party liked was identified and got things prepared accordingly, while your likes and dislikes were ignored? you mean these never happened? or even when silly things done by
GS - Listen, I dont deny these (I still give the benefit of the doubt - maybe it was all unintentional) BS - Unintentional? Who are you kidding?
GS - Maybe you seem unapproachable and belligerent to people. Learn to smile more and do more PRBS - Why is it always, irrespective of root cause, the solution always lies with me?GS - Alright - point taken - So, by getting all worked up, what is the benefit you get?BS - I am not doing this by choice. I am angry when this happens. And that is unavoidableGS - Remember - you are not doing anyone any favour by upsetting yourself over thisBS - I know that!GS - So listen to me. Let us revisit the concept of responsibility.
responsibility = ability to respond. When angry, you lose the ability to respond. You only REACT - which is what you've been doing
Many ways you can respond through:
- Talk about it to the perpetrator (not possible now or ever)- talk about it to the 3rd party witness (useless, will not listen or bother)- Blog it out :) and eventually learn to condition yourself to ignore (difficult but possible) and direct your energies elsewhere. Benefits of ignoring:
- you dont get BP or spoil your health - you dont waste precious time thinking about this - you dont direct the anger at someone else
Basically the reason for all this is - you are insecure. Insecure that someone else is treated better than you. And that in turn to you implies that person's greatness.
Think hard and deep. In what way is someone's treatment of you going to affect you? Will it take away or give you something? what will diminish materialistically? even otherwise? Think and it might help you remain secure.
Suggest you stop this unreasonable behavior. Draw inspiration from the 3rd party witness himself. He is a true Sthitaprajna.
Gita's essence for Sthitaprajna - Shri Krishna’s ideal human being is Sthitaprajna. Prajna is mind, intellect, wisdom. Sthita means stable. Sthitaprajna is a person whose mind has stabilized. Whether he has faith in the divine is immaterial, as long as he is in a state of equilibrium while facing the ups and downs of life.
Difficult but achieveble. What do you say?
BS - I dont know, will try! All I know is I have to try and be a Sthitaprajna.
Thanks for listening.

Result -
Continue with your quest to remain "lotus in a muddy pond - a Sthitaprajna"